I'm in love with someone.
Finding love lately has been pretty hard. I've spent countless hours mindlessly swiping on a variety of dating apps, the ones that promise that you will find love as quickly as possible. It's pretty much the same idea as love magic, but in the tech world.
During these swipes, I found a person who's really cute, and we matched! We spent some time talking but I didn't know if anything interesting would happen. At that point, I finally figured out that I had dating fatigue – the kind of fatigue that you feel when you spend too much time thinking and acting upon dating. When I realized I was really burned out of dating, I decided to delete all my dating apps' accounts. That was the moment when this person messaged me asking me on a date. So magical!
We went on a date once, on a French restaurant. Then we held hands (something I rarely do due to my autism). We went on a second date, when I told them I was in love (and they reacted in the cutest, quirkiest way). We went on a third date! And now we are planning more dates.
Anxiety kicks in
I'm extremely anxious about relationships, and with this person it haven't been any different. When I fall in love with someone, I want to spend quality time with them. I'm also an agitaded person, while the person I'm dating is completely chill (they are anxious, but they like to take things slowly). That has led me to some anxious thoughts about whether they like me or not.
It's very important to nurture your self-esteem, and it's something I've been doing since I broke up with my ex (we're still friends). Understanding that you have all these qualities help you not crave for validation all the time. But sometimes, validation is good. Knowing that your love for someone else is reciprocal is very very important, btw.
The person I'm dating doesn't talk so often, they are often occupied with other things and worried about something else, so I try to take it easy on the questions that take too much of a brain to answer. But sometimes I get so anxious, really really anxious, because I really want to know what this person things about me and our relationship.
On the other hand, it's important to note that, if they didn't want my company, they would've told me already. So it's a good sign.